How many times in the course of a conversation at a meeting, party, event,
or whatever, has the subject of emergency preparedness come up, and you make
a comment about the having done something (anything) about it in some way,
and
someone says "the next time [something bad] happens, I'm coming over
to your place!" How do you reply? You can't invite everybody in need,
you don't want to invite parasites, you don't want to piss off friends and
co-workers, and you may not be able to tell if they are joking or serious.
However viscerally satisfying a "I got mine, you socialists are yer on
yer own, and I'll shoot you parasites on sight in an emergency" may be
in the short run, I think it is generally counter-productive on a number of
levels.
I've struggled with how to reply to this comment over the years (at least since
the early 1990s), because there are so many variables in each situation (how
recently there has been an "event," how close of friends you
are with the person making the comment, what sort of mix there is present of
good friends-acquaintances-strangers, the tone of how it was said, how much
you
know about the background of each one, what the relative wealth and social
standing of all parties present are, location, etc.), and many times there
are far to many unknowns to give a really good, tailored answer, that will
get more people to become preparedness oriented and independent-minded (which
is what we really want, right?).
But after reading a very long thread on the topic recently, talking it over
with my other half, and in light of this specific comment being directed at
me several times in the last month (I am in the Puget Sound area, so the windstorm
hit where I'm at pretty good - lots of trees and branches down around here,
and I had fun making lots of chain-saw-dust), I think I may have come up with
a pretty good "all purpose opening response." Look directly at them,
and then quietly and matter-of-factly say: "A long time ago, I
made the conscious choice to not be dependant on other people, and I was willing
to
forgo some of the luxuries of life in order
to accumulate the stuff and the skills to prepare me to take care of myself
and my immediate family for any likely emergency that may occur in the region
where I live. I would be happy to help you figure out how you can do the same
thing most efficiently."
There are four very important things about this phrasing: you are saying some
things very clearly, some things are obviously implied, a lot is left completely
unsaid, and you are not being in any way threatening, arrogant, condescending,
judgmental, or patronizing. You are offering them help on how to help themselves
now, and you are not saying you will shoot them on sight in the future (you
are helpful and non-threatening), and you are not saying you will give them
a handout and implying that there are limits to what you are able to do (but
don't expect free-bee's). You have stated a basic
philosophy with a fairly limited and hard-to-argue-against scope, you have
not given away to much information about what or how much you have, you are
alluding to a simple method for others to do the same; you are opening a conversation
that puts the ball in their court on how to respond, at which time you'll have
a much better idea about what to say, or not say, from there. You are serious
but neutral; if you can get them to seriously consider and
pursue emergency preparedness, you have expanded your "mutual-defense
circle," if they don't and the need arises, you can
turn them away with a much clearer conscious. You haven't given them any more
reasons to hate you, target you, fear you, or depend on you (which is a good
defensive
move). All you need to do is ask some pointed questions, like "this
area gets snowstorms regularly, why not have chains for your car and just keep
them in the trunk all winter?" or "$45 a month for cable
TV? That'd put up a lot of extra food in a year." Make observations like "yes,
a generator is nice, but not everyone needs one, not everyone can afford a
good one, and not everyone has a place for one; you just have to be ready to
work
without power," or "supplies aren't everything; what if the
disaster you are preparing for causes your well-supplied house to burn down
and it takes everything with it? Attitude and skills are just as important."
If they say "what sort of luxuries did you give up?" some possible
follow-ups might be: "I don't have a new, big screen TV, I have an old
19-inch beast; but I do have a generator."
"I don't have a Rolex or a Hummer, but I am debt-free except for my house
mortgage."
The first one might not be the best example to use if they were bragging about
their spiffy new 55" HD 1080p wonder-vision unit [HDTV], just after freezing
their butts off in an ice storm, but you get the idea. Get across the idea
that it is all about making appropriate choices now, using as neutral a tone
and wording as possible. Don't say "of course only an idiot would
drive a Lexus when he doesn't have a month's supply of food in snow-storm country" when
talking to someone you know has a Lexus parked out front and no food in the
fridge. If you have no idea what sort of 'stuff" they have, focus on skills,
e.g., "I don't spend money on yoga classes, I take self-defense and home-repair
classes." Keep it neutral, informative in
a general way, and neither promise anything or sound judgmental for the opening
few minutes (even if this requires biting your tongue, hard, for a bit), until
they have done a fair bit of talking and you have a much better feel for the
lay of the land, whereupon you can teach, share, run, or whatever as needed.
Think through a couple of paths that the conversation could take, and how you
would respond in a way that would appeal most to the sort of person who would
go down that path. A socialist who is used to depending on the state might
say "are you saying you wouldn't feed me if I showed up on your door-step
after a major earthquake if you had any extra food?" Saying "of
course not" will just piss them off and may make you a target, with them
calling you a "greedy hoarder." Saying "I would have a hard
time justifying taking food out of my children's mouth tomorrow to feed a casual
acquaintance today, especially if we did not know when services were going
to be restored and supplies replaced" puts a whole different appearance
on it.
Information is your friend; don't start by telling them what you have, what
you have planned, how stupid they are for not being equally well prepared,
etc. Find out a bit about their mind-set, skill-set, resources, and then go
from
there in the best direction. Best of luck with your next "conversion" into
the mindset of independence and preparedness!